The Name's Bond, James Bond- that's not your name
by CaptainHuggyface3218
Summary: He made sure no harm would come to them -always checking the star system to check their color change, and lo and behold, he has not yet failed in steering danger away from their direction. Shiro was not safe. Shiro was gone. And he would be lying if he said he didn't feel the loss of all he took with him. (Black Paladin!Lance AU. Genderfluid!Pidge. Missing!Shiro. )
1. Captain, this ship's sinking

_Chapter One_

 _Captain, the Ship Appears to be Sinking_

~.~.~

 **Enjoy!**

~.~.~.~

Yearning was not a foreign sensation, nor was it ever wanted. Thoughts of family (of missed birthdays and graduations and fun and laughter and _life_ ) drifted through his mind at moments where they were not needed. Laying a hand on Pidge's shoulder whilst beating down a boss caused his mouth to droop downward as memories of a younger –smiling, always smiling- brother swarmed him. Feeling free as he flew through the air, Blue humming in joy alongside him, made him sigh with nostalgia of an elder sibling -eyes so kind and knowing- swinging him through the air.

However, they, his family, were safe. He made sure no harm would come to them -always checking the star system to check their color change, and lo and behold, he has not yet failed in steering danger away from their direction.

But something was wrong.

Shiro was not safe.

Shiro was gone.

With the short amount of time the paladins had been together, Lance felt they had grown closer as the feeling of death around every corner crept in on all sides. Because of this, it was not long for Lance to feel that they were becoming like family- people able to come together and make the best memories (of flying, of food fights, of _life_ ) and yet-

This makeshift family had already been broken because-

Shiro was not safe.

Shiro was gone.

He couldn't help but feel responsible. That was maybe irrational, yes. Dumb, probably; however, feelings of inadequacy never failed to cling to him and bring him further down into the depths of sadness. This was not only due to thoughts of regret (if only he shot more, if only he flew faster, if only – _he could have been the one to be taken_ -) but also something he was ashamed to admit.

Shiro was not safe.

Shiro was gone.

But Lance didn't feel that rippling pain of his heart being taken with him. He was never that close to Shiro, compared to the relationship between Pidge and Shiro or Shiro or Keith, and a part of him couldn't help but feel envious to those who were tightknit to his hero- the legend ( _the Champion_ ). That's not to say he didn't feel the loss of presence or the sadness. To the contrary, the lack of command (the robot without its head), the loss of stability, and the absence of calm only allowed for a big dish of anxiety to be served to Lance because-

Shiro was not safe.

Shiro was gone.

And he took so much with him, leaving only confusion and weeping hearts.

Lance tried to fill that gap. Not to replace Shiro (was that even possible? Lance had always been following the backs of those better than him –Shiro, Keith- but to even think Lance could take command was laughable) or anything, but seeing Pidge drill themselves into a chair with fingers glued onto keys and eyes that were more red than white nowadays hurt. Watching Hunk fiddle with trinkets or different recipes wasn't as exciting anymore as steady hands were replaced with shaking ones. Allura didn't seem to feel the loss so much (What was one life compared to her entire race?); however, Lance could spot the far off look, the dazed expression of not knowing where to go from here. Coran tried his best; he was still the loud and warm man they all enjoyed but his happiness could not catch all of the tears their hearts had shed. And one person seemed to shut down and crumble the most. Long gone was the Keith of instinct. He seems to have been replaced with a robot only good to train and only programmed with one feeling: anger.

Anger because-

Shiro was not safe.

Shiro was gone.

And Keith was useless a second time as he watched his brother vanish from his life.

And Lance moved to patch the leaks. He brought food to Pidge's table and carried him to bed, tucking the blankets under his chin and placing a soft kiss into his hair (like his mother used to-). He would later tell him that he was tired and Lance would lay onto Pidge, much to the other's chagrin, but Lance was never pushed away and instead, rough yet small hands set courses in his hair. His steady hands (the same ones that stilled a sniper) gripped shaking ones and told Hunk to just breathe ("Hey buddy, can you tell me three things you see? Hmm- yes, I know I'm pretty, Hunk, but something other than me- okay, how about two smells? Oh yeah, I found this lemon smelling-"). Allura was nice to talk to. Her openness was refreshing to Lance as he watched her eyes light up when they watch the mice. He watched frown as his flirting did not amuse her one bit. He watched her fists clench as she spoke about her plans for the Galra. However, as of yet, he has not seen her smile since –

Shiro was not safe.

Shiro was gone.

See, the thing about Allura was that she used her entire body to smile. He would know, as that was one of the things that made her so attractive. Her eyes would grow smaller as cheeks pushed to accommodate the wide smile that had taken up most of her face. Her body would relax, her shoulders would shake with mirth, and her right hand would grip her thigh in order to stop her body from falling. Lance made it a mission to see her let loose, but until then he was satisfied with shakes of the head and the tilt of her lips ("Braiding? You know how to do that?" "Don't look so surprised, princess. Back in the day, all the girls would want my _oh-so-talented_ hands." " _Lance_." "Alright alright, okay I learned when my sisters-").

Keith, on the other hand, was a whole different matter. Never wanted to talk, never wanted to hang out, never wanted company unless it was the form of a bot. If the conditions were met and a person passed, then preparations for the drive of Keith's sword through the chest must be made. All metaphors aside, nobody on the ship could get him to take better care of himself and the only person who could-

Lance wasn't going to finish that thought. He just needed to keep trying, simple as that. Keith had a right to be angered. Shiro was the close to him and Keith did not open up to just anyone (so of course it had to be Shiro from the Land of the Perfect). His brother was gone and Lance could not imagine what it felt like to go through not once, but twice now.

But that did not excuse his behavior at the moment.

"Keith? Keith! What the quiznak are you doing?" Lance turned right with the controls, Blue flying in that direction, just narrowly missing Keith as he flew too close. Lance cursed in Spanish under his breath as the move left him open to two more fighter pilots. A couple of ticks and shots later, the coast became clear.

Keith's voice rang out through the coms in reply. "Saving your ass. Maybe if you weren't too slow I wouldn't have to." Arrogance dripped off his every word, clouded with anger -hurt- maybe, but Lance was too rattled to care.

"What? You just- You are- Argh!" Lance took a large breath to steady his breathing and stopped the rapid pounding in his chest.

Lance mused that Keith was never fully filled with anger before. A shocking thought, but not any less true. He was quick to action, acting swiftly and riding on gut feelings, yet that was never a bad thing. Truthfully, that's what made him a good fighter and drove him to do the right thing. His anger then made things clear; they let Keith fight with stronger hits, with a clearer mind, and a better flight plan. Now, it only made him blind. It clouded his thoughts as he swung too wide, as he flew too close, as he rushed in too fast without taking heed of the team's warnings.

Lance wouldn't be too mad if it wasn't putting the rest of the team at risk. Formations were left with gaping blind spots as Keith left on his own, left them all behind just like he left- (just like he left the Garrison and Lance rose only because of that). Lance tried not to take it to heart, but he was saddened that Keith didn't feel close enough to anyone on the ship, to let them in and help Keith with his emotions until Shiro was found.

And he would be.

Lance would make sure of it.

But right now, Keith was a priority. He was hurting, he was confused, he was- well, Lance didn't know exactly what he was. He would not know until Keith opened up and told him (unlikely as that was, though it wouldn't damper him from trying).

Sighing as his hand rubbed his sore shoulder, Lance hopped out of Blue and walked leisurely to the lounge area. They always met there after an attack (whether on them or by them) and it was always the time for debriefing. They met for a discussion on what went right, what went wrong, and what they could change to better the mission or the defenses.

Nobody really said anything when they walked into the room, only that four out of five paladins sat down with a collective groan (Coran would be included, but he was busy with repairs down in the engine room). Allura and Keith stood, both firm and both unyielding in their gaze.

"Paladins, I am quite happy to say that this is yet another planet agreeing to aid the coalition." Hands clasped in front of her, Allura stood looking as regal as ever. "Let's keep up the good work."

Keith scoffed, arms crossed and with his scowl seemingly stitched upon his lips. Lance thought to himself he couldn't stitch something better himself. He watched Keith situate himself on the couch beside him, far away from the standing princess.

"Something to add Keith?" Allura asked in a challenging tone. Lance mused that she usually wasn't this openly hostile, but the tightness around her eyes screamed a lack of sleep.

"Just wondering why," Keith spat, "why we aren't out there looking for Shiro?"

Allura drew in a tired breath. "As I have said before, the more planets we liberate, the better chances we have of finding Shiro as doing so would accumulate eyes and ears on the lookout."

Hunk nodded. "Sounds like a good plan. I mean, we can't just search every planet in every system in every galaxy."

"So we're just going to _liberate_ every planet in every system in every galaxy?" Pidge chimed in, hands moving to right his glasses.

Lance shrugged, making a slight sound of agreement. "Good one Pidge. But the princess wouldn't choose this plan if she didn't think it was the best course to find Shiro." Losing confidence with all eyes on him, he shakenly smiled Allura's way, "Right? Allura?" He was met with silence. "Allura?" He said a little more quietly.

"Lance…" She started, but quickly shook her head and sucked in a deep breath. "Actually, I've been meaning to tell all of you something; there has just never been an appropriate moment."

"No…" Lance peered over at Keith whose scowl became more prominent.

"I believe it is time to start looking for someone to pilot the Black-"

"No!" Surprisingly –and maybe not so surprisingly- it wasn't Keith who yelled out in outrage, but Pidge who stood up, chest heaving, and fists clenched at his side. "That's bullshit!" He yanked his hand away from Hunk's to take a step towards the princess.

Allura looked taken aback, never quite seeing this look on the Green Paladin's face. "Pardon?"

Keith's narrowed eyes raised goosebumps on Lance's spine. "What he's telling is that, your plan is void. It's invalid. There's no way we're just- replacing!- Shiro when he's still out there, waiting for us to rescue him. It hasn't even been a week and you're just tossing him aside as if he's dead."

"And unlike yours, _Allura_ ," Pidge took in a strangled breath and turned to walk away, "my family is still alive and waiting for me."

Silence met his words.

Hunk stood up abruptly. "I'm sorry princess, but Pidge probably needs someone right now." With a nod towards Lance, he followed the stewing Holt.

Lance watched him leave and turned back to face the princess. "Allura, don't-" He was struck dumb as she had already left. He sighed, shaking away the hurt, and turned to look Keith over- "Keith…" -only to find him gone as well. In fact, it seemed he was the only one left in the room.

And he would be lying if he said he didn't feel this loss.

 _Chapter One End_

~.~.~.~

 **Let's get it boys! Lancey Lance is here whoop /**

 **Hope you all enjoyed and really hope that this was something new that you've read and unlike other stories. How was the writing btw? I haven't written in a while and this is un'betaed so thoughts? I take constructive criticism and I'm always looking to improvebr /**

 **Also hope you enjoyed Lance's perspective. I love diving into his character because there's sO MUCH YOU COULD DELVE INTO AND DISCUSS OMG I LOVE IT**

 **Thoughts maybe? Well, review if you'd like (i understand if you can't -i'm a bad example of giving constant reviews lma0)**

 **See you next time my lovelies**

~.~.~


	2. in a void blank

_..._

 ** _unknown_**

 _~.~.~_

in a void blind

~.~.~.~

if for whatever reason

i could breathe

i would draw breath like a dying man

or maybe i already am

...

to what amount should

i perceive

is true/

who is that...

WHO'S TOUCHING ME. STOP.

please.

...

i can't- i can't

breathe-

for maybe I'm already dead

 _~.~.~_

 ** _unknown end_**

 _~.~.~.~_


	3. Fists Filled With Words

_Chapter Two_

 _Fists Filled With Words_

~.~.~

 _ **Enjoy!**_

~.~.~.~

For all of his unpredictableness, he was quite predictable. If there was one thing Lance could be happy about right now, it would be the fact that Keith seemed to be glued to the gladiator room. It was as if he itched to feel the familiar weight of something in his hands- that's not to say Lance didn't feel the same. Sometimes, after a mission, holding a Bayard close and knowing he's fine and safe and still here is a good feeling that he couldn't really get from anywhere.

And yet, Lance knew Keith wasn't there for comfort. He was there to get rid of the anger squirming under his skin, the heat crawling up his neck like a boa constricting his very soul. He was probably there to feel anything other than the hopelessness threatening to drag him under and if he didn't continue struggling, it could very well drown him.

Or maybe, he was already drowning.

Or maybe, Lance was wrong. Speculation isn't always right and it's not like his data is based off himself.

Keith grunted loudly as his elbow rammed into the neck of the gladiator, moving then to wrap a hand around his neck, back faced towards it, and flipped it over his shoulder. He swiftly dodged an arm reaching out to grab him and stabbed the machine clear through its stomach. He huffed harshly, signalling repeated bouts of sparring over a long period of time.

Keith spun around, eyes wide, but not quite surprised to see Lance leaning against the entrance, a smile soft upon his lips and hands clapping slowly.

"A fine show Keith. Five stars, would recommend for all personal daily anger needs." Lance pushed himself off the wall, stuck his hands inside of his pockets, and made his way toward the radiating male.

Eyes searching the bot for any movement, even going as far to kick it, Keith sighed as it only twitched and stayed down. "What do you want Lance?"

"What? I can't stop by and visit my favorite red paladin?" Lance spoke with a cocky smirk, eyes shining.

Keith looked at him for only a second then glanced away again. Not even bothering to retort that he was the only red paladin, he gripped the handle of his sword and freed it from the confines of a stomach. "We both know that isn't true." Truly facing Lance now, he repeated tiredly, "What do you want Lance?"

Lance hummed, almost breaking out into laughter as Keith's mouth twisted in discomfort and confusion when he took off his jacket and threw it to the side of him. "I want you to stop breaking the bots, man. Jeez, is there such a thing as bot abuse?" He paused for a moment then continued, "What am I saying? This is space, of course there is." Rolling his shoulders and cracking his neck, he gestured to himself, "I also may have thought you might want to beat up less metal and more flesh."

"What? Why would I-"

"And because Coran is in charge of bot repairs and he has more than enough on his plate. Let's not make it worse."

Silence. "Still, I'll just leave then. We don't need to fight; I'm fine Lance."

Lance nodded. Head cocked to side, he questioned slowly, as if approaching a wild animal (and honestly, maybe he was), "So you don't want to punch Allura in the face?"

"Lance, that's- that's different. I don't want to punch her in the face."

Nodding again, he took a step closer to Keith. "So you want to punch someone?"

Keith's eyes narrowed and his grip on his sword tightened. "Lance let it go." It was more of curt, final tone, but years with stubborn family has drilled Lance with patience.

"Is this person on the ship?"

"Don't you dare."

"Or maybe someone who's not?"

"Shut up."

"Someone by the name of-"

"I _swear_ -"

"Shiro?"

Keith pointed the blade Lance's way. "Shut up! Shut up!" His eyes sparked sharp obsidian and a furrow appeared between his eyebrows. His hand visibly shook. Almost seemingly to curl in on himself, he hissed, "You don't know what you're talking about."

Shrugging off the last of the tension from his shoulders, Lance sighed, "Probably. Maybe." He did offer Keith a sympathetic look. "Though, I won't know until you tell me."

Keith shook his head, eyes never leaving his blade. "Just leave Lance."

Lance pulled out his bayard, twirling it around on his index finger while they both laid in a pregnant pause. Growing quickly impatient with Keith's lack of movement, Lance brought the weapon up to his shoulder and aimed Keith's way.

A choked breath. "Lance, what the hell!" A yell as a pulse knocked his sword from his hand. "Stop!"

A wry smirk latched onto Lance's lips. "Can't handle the heat, dropout? Come on, hit me." A shot near retreating feet. "You know you want to. All mad and broody because your big bro left you again. Always leaving you behind. Poor," enoucionating each word with a step, Lance strode forward, "poor Keithy." Keith steamed before him, no longer backing away.

"All lost and alone." Resorting to yells, Lance snarled, "drowning in loneliness all because of-" Lance recoiled as a sharp right jab connected with his jaw, slamming his teeth together and making dots appear in his vision. Letting go of all pretense, both boys dropped their weapons and grappled each other onto the floor.

Lance rose up on top, using his forearm to shove Keith's face into the ground. He leaned in close, hissing through gritted teeth, "sad, poor Keith alone in a shack. Sad, poor Keith alone in the castle-" Yelping as Keith dug his teeth into his forearm, Lance turned to move away only to feel himself pushed to the floor and straddled.

Violet eyes flashed. "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Like a recorder set on repeat, he gained a new mantra and seemed to always end up alone. Choking on the air itself, Keith breathed heavily and punched Lance right on the temple, uncaring of the scratches the other laid upon his skin. They stung and then begun to bleed.

Lance kicked out with his leg, catching Keith's shin. "You're so selfish!" Knocking the air out of Keith, he gripped the other's shoulders and, thrice, had picked him up and slammed him on the ground. Nails dug into his wrist, yet he pressed forward til their noses brushed. "You think you're alone now?"

Tears splashed onto the skin of Keith's cheeks, causing him to freeze and his eyes to widen. Lance dug deeper into his shoulder. "It sucks, yes! Shiro being gone fucking sucks! And I don't- I just-" Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Lance leaned forward to rest his throbbing head onto Keith's shoulder.

"I don't know how this must feel for you. I really don't and I don't know how to help but if there's one thing I know it's that-" Lance leaned back, taking up all of Keith's vision,"-how are you so stupid!"

Eyes narrowing, Keith yelled, "hey!"

"No! Shut up and listen for once!" Hands now resting on either side of Keith's head, he continued with a sigh, "you're selfish because you think you're alone now." Whispering, voice raspy with hurt, "Do the rest of us mean nothing to you? We might not mean as much as Shiro does to you," rushing past Keith's squeal of protest, he went on, "but I hope we at least mean something so that you stop acting, so, so... stupid!" Shoving him one more time, Lance moved off from on top of him and grasped his aching jaw.

Keith pushed himself off his elbows to sit up. He looked away, seeming a tad insecure. "I wasn't- I'm not that bad..."

"Almost crashing into me today? Not listening to orders from Allura, or rather, anyone? Locking yourself in the training room and wouldn't even remember to eat if it weren't for Hunk dragging you to the kitchen?" Keith nodded after a pause, moving to speak, however was halted when Lance continued, "Not to mention, yelling at Allura, not showering every day- like jeez man, when's the last time you showered, you stink!- and there's that mullet- when are you going to cut that-"

"Okay, okay!" Keith cracked his back and sighed in relief. "I get it."

"So you're cutting off the mullet- oof!"

Keith grinned as his punch connected directly with Lance's gut. After taking pleasure in Lance's groans, he made to move up.

"What was that for?" Lance wheezed.

Keith chuckled. "As a thank you."

"... what kind of shitty thank you is that!"

 _Chapter Two End_

~.~.~

 _ **if you think it's all right now...**_

 _ **also, there was a mini chapter before this and there's that - i really do have a plot outline dont even worry about it *sweats*. 100 points if you can guess who the narrator is. it may be obvious or maybeeee not**_

 _ **also (wow, a lot of also's) sorry for the long wait and sorry for the formatting issue I SWEAR TO GOD I NEVER GET IT RIGHT AND I SERIOUSLY HATE IT CUZ IT MAKES ME SO MAD**_

 _ **but anyway,**_

 _ **see you next time my lovelies**_

~.~.~.~


End file.
